People need people – for initial and for continued survival, for socialization, for the pursuit of satisfaction. No one – not the dying, not the outcast, not the mighty – transcends the need for human contact. 

Calm is not the point. Connected to self during any and every experience is the point. Can children learn how to be with themselves when they are anxious, scared, happy, angry, sad. That's the point. That's emotional intelligence. 

Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough. 

Honoring the important and necessary changes in the adolescent mind and brain rather than disrespecting them is crucial for both teens and their parents. When we embrace these needed changes, when we offer teens the support and guidance they need instead of just throwing up our hands and thinking we're dealing with an 'immature brain that simply needs to grow up' or 'raging hormones in need of taming', we enable adolescents to develop vital new capacities that they can use to lead happier and healthier lives.